9-11, We Remember

We don't need to be reminded

The gray sky chokes with emotion as the air thickens with somber. Two giant American flags hoisted up high by three fire trucks are quietly fluttering in the early autumn morning chill. Down below, dozens of first-response vehicles – fire trucks, ambulances and police squad cars, are all silently flashing their emergency lights. And a SWAT officer in full combat gear guarding the intersection adds to the solemn atmosphere.

It is September 11, 2011. Ten years after the most tragic terrorist attacks on this soil, people gather at the township recreation and community center to re-dedicate the 9-11 memorial site and pay tribute to the innocent lives lost in those most senseless violent acts. Military color guards with flags and weapons surround the memorial site. Firefighters, first aid squad members, and police officers in full uniform stand at attention. There are politicians in crisp suits, grandmas holding hands with little toddlers munching on Goldfish, as well as spiky-haired teenagers wearing sagging shorts. Surviving family members of the victims are asked to sit front and center.

Marlboro, this central Jersey town of 40,000, took its toll on 9-11: fourteen of our fellow residents perished at the original World Trade Center.

There could have been sixteen.

My wife’s older brother and younger sister were both working at the World Trade Center at the time. Big brother normally went in his office at around 7:30 AM, and sis would follow an hour later. But the week before that fateful day, her car window stopped working; and her dad spent two days trying to fix it but to no avail. So the siblings decided to share the ride and carpool to work together for the time being, at the young sister’s normal time. They hit heavy traffic that was much worse than usual. Amid bickering back and forth about whether to stay the course or take an alternate route, they missed the news on the radio. It would be five to nine when they finally reached their parking garage in Jersey City and looked up across the Hudson River. Heavy smoke was already billowing out of One World Trade.

Thinking it might have been just some cafeteria mishap and worrying about being late for work, sis still wanted to rush to catch the Path train, which would take them right under the towers. Fortunately, the older and perhaps wiser big brother thought better of it and dragged her back into the car and started back home. And the rest is history.

Through the years, relaxing in the safe haven of our own homes, we can still get a few chuckles whenever they recount the story. But we also feel the chills: What could’ve happened if the car window was fine? Or big brother was able to convince sis to go in early with him? A broken car window might have changed a large and close-knit family’s life in an unimaginable way. Count ourselves blessed because death was once so close.

But nearly three thousand others were not so lucky that day. They were mostly ordinary people just like your neighbors and friends: Businessmen, office clerks, or restaurant cooks who were there simply to make a living, or tourists who had just come from out of town to admire these magnificent buildings. And don’t forget the most tragic and heroic of all – the first responders, especially those firefighters who rushed up the burning towers while urging others to flee.

Cold rain quietly drizzles down onto the gathering. One by one, family members of the victims recount the life stories of their lost loved ones. There are few dry eyes in the silent crowd.

Amidst military bugle calls, police gun-salutes and the “America the Beautiful” by the Marlboro High School chorus, the black shroud draped over the new memorial centerpiece is slowly lifted, unveiling a 12-foot long steel “I” beam. It had been salvaged from the wreckage at Ground Zero. Through the efforts of Town Councilman Jeff Cantor, a U.S. Army reserve Lt. Colonel who had served in Afghanistan, this steel beam was transported by truck from New York to Marlboro under police escort.

This 12-footer is vertically mounted on a scaled-down model of the twin towers, which stands on a marble base in the shape of a pentagon. The names of the fourteen Marlboro residents who died in the 9-11 attacks, as well as the time of impact of each plane and the total number of lives lost, are chiseled in on its polished sides. The structure is standing tall and safeguarded by the American Flag, the State Flag of New Jersey and the 9-11 Memorial Flag, ensuring that this community will remember our loss for many years to come.

“What we are is a community of neighbors with passion, who care about each other, and it really shows on a day like today,” declares Mayor Jon Hornik as the crowd grows to six hundred strong.

“Know that you have an entire community that stands with you today,” Councilman Cantor reminds friends and family members of the fourteen 9-11 victims as they walk up to the newly erected monument and lovingly place a rose and an American Flag on the base for each of their lost loved ones.

My tween children, who were barely toddlers ten years ago, can understand so much more now. That burly fellow with a thick beard, who cannot hold back his tears, will never forget the pain.

Just outside the memorial, the fire trucks’ air horns roar intermittently throughout the ceremony, marking the exact moments of the horrific attacks and devastation. They are there to remind everyone of this tragedy.

But no, we don’t need to be reminded.

9-11, we remember.

Get a Little Merrier in 2012

Money Spent Right Can Indeed Bring You Happiness

No one argues that money can’t buy happiness, but getting your finances in order would definitely lead you in the right direction towards a sunnier day. 2011 turned out to be another turbulent year, which had witnessed multiple crisis and disasters. Houses were not selling; people were not getting jobs; and the constant worry about money can’t make anyone happy. So shouldn’t we at least get a little break in the brand new 2012, especially when the forecast is still murky? This can be achieved with a few easy small money steps without breaking the bank.

Set up an emergency fund, if you haven’t done so already. A surprise finding from a University of Georgia study of 28,000 Americans: Having a rainy-day fund best predicts financial satisfaction, more so than being credit card debt-free or even owning a home! Experts have been preaching putting up at least three to six times of your monthly income; you may help build up the safety net quicker with some small “windfalls” such as your tax refund or medical flexible spending reimbursements. No matter how it’s done, you will sleep better knowing the money is there even if your roof leaks tomorrow.  

Rid yourself of credit card debt, which is truly an evil monster. The thought of having to pay that 20% interest on top of what you owe will surely make you wince in pain and turn grumpy. And that’s not all – according to a study by Utah state University professor Jeff Dew, newlyweds who had built up a balance of as little as $1,000 were markedly less satisfied with their relationships than those who had none. It may not be practical to put up the cash to pay off the debt right away without causing hardship, so think small, establish a target and stick to it. Before long, you’ll see your debt shrink and perhaps treat your partner a little better.

Switch workplace, if it you don’t feel good there. Your job is where you spend most of waking hours; there is no worse feeling than having to dread going there in the morning, and counting minutes to get out. It could be the job being boring, or your co-worker being nasty. Either way, being depressed from 9 to 5 will just make you sick. Recent government’s job reports are indicating an up-tick in the labor market, and job site StarWire.com found that half of the applicants found a job within a week, while 75% of them got theirs within three.  Make the move now and you may actually be able to come home with a smile.

Make full use of your vacation days. American workers are well known for being workaholic, and leave an average of 6.2 vacation days unused per year, according to on-line travel site Hotwire. In this tough economy where companies are forced to cut cost and improve productivity, employees tend to feel they must keep working extra hours to keep their jobs. But a stressed-out worker would cost two and a half times more in health care alone, not to mention the negative impact on his family life and the company’s productivity. So squeeze in every day you are entitled to. You don’t need to dole out big bucks and take an extravagant trip; a prolonged weekend in which you simply lounge around at home will do. After all, a well rested person is always a happier one.

Indulge yourself a little and often, which beats occasional splurges in creating greater happiness. That’s the result of numerous researches over the years covering a wide variety of everyday activities. You may try years to save up enough money to treat your family to a month-long expedition to the most exotic places in the world, but the excitement can only last so long. Instead, how about going out to dinner one weekend and the movies the next, or stopping by that neat boutique store on your way home to pick up a nice box of imported chocolate for your wife? Little things like these can truly make your life so much more joyous.

Be charitable and help others, which brings your happiness to a whole new level. What feels better than knowing that you’ve helped out someone in need? According to the Social Capital Community Benchmark Survey, people who donate to charity are 43% more likely to say they are very happy about their lives than those who don’t. Besides, you don’t always have to give money to help - volunteer your time and expertise. When you watch the young trees growing at your neighborhood park, or see the smiling face of an elderly patient at your local hospital, wouldn’t you feel like a million bucks, too?

We all hope that the economy will bounce back nicely in 2012 so we can see a significant improvement in our financial situation. But before that happens, it’s not all gloom and doom; we can still take small steps with regards to the little money that we have to ensure a better and happier year ahead.